Safety information explained, Diva-style

Our flight to Phoenix was very bumpy. The flight attendant asked us many times to "buckle up and put your J-Lo in your seat."

We arrived safely, but with a huge thud!! on the runway. The attendant then let us know that the landing "really hurt my J-Lo" and treated us to a Celine Dion style "remain seated until we have arrived...."  (and I was very, very grateful that it was such a short flight).