Heart shaped bruise

This morning I was exercising at home, working my arms by bench pressing free weights (which sounds so jock-like, but really it's nothing special). Right as I had the weights above my head, as I'm lying on the bench, my cat jumped unto my chest, scaring the effin' hell out of me. I yelped, Bixby the Beast clawed into me then ran away, causing me to drop the weights. Crash! Scramble!

Man, I almost broke my face and lost all my front teeth. My heart was racing, the floor shook, the CD player skipped, the dog started barking. Haven't seen that cat all day.